Kick in the Head

When I start telling anyone this story I start off by saying that if I described this guy he’ll be instantly familiar because we’ve all met him in our lifetime. Baseball cap, mustache, large waist, bad B.O., walkie talkie cell phone, breathes very heavily and will talk to anyone who will listen (and people who will try their best not to). The bus driver very adamantly said that no cell phones with speakers were allowed and that calls should be limited to 2 minutes long or for emergency use. This guy lowered the *beeda-boop!* sound in his phone but by the end of the trip I guess the volume increased or something. In his defense he wasn’t the ONLY annoying person on the bus. There was a girl sitting behind him broadcasting her life story to everyone nearby.

I ate half a sandwich on the bus but couldn’t eat any more of it because I had a headache and slight nausea from smelling his B.O. His B.O. was also only active when he was awake. When he first got on I had a whiff of it and then it seemed to dissipate somewhat, but not enough that it wasn’t there at all. Then during one part of the trip he was asleep and I barely smelled a thing. As soon as he woke up it woke up with him.

I don’t understand what his thinking was in denying the fact the bus was 30 minutes late. How do you not understand an idea that a bus is subject to the mercy of the traffic? Plus his wife was asking him where he was which is stupid because without street signs you can’t tell anything especially when there aren’t even lights on that part of the highway.

When he got off the bus he was saying “Aw man, never again. Three and a half hours on a bus is enough, I couldn’t do any more.” I really wanted to tell him that the bus ride was actually five hours total, but I bit my tongue.”