I could write a rant about this, but would you honestly want me to?
Posts Tagged ‘bathroom’
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This happened to me when I was in Taiwan. I would never have the audacity to ask someone a question like this unless they were a good friend. Basically what happened was I used the bathroom and I noticed that some things had been written in Chinese on the door of the bathroom. First I was amused by how universal this sort of thing seems to be, and second I was really curious what it said. I could venture a guess and probably get at least one or two words correct, but I still remain curious what they wrote. I didn’t want to look weird by bringing a camera into the bathroom, and I certainly didn’t want to ask my parents so I guess for better or for worse it will forever remain a mystery.
I’ll try my best not to reveal too much information that people would rather not hear about this. Don’t you hate it when you’re on the way to the bathroom, and you feel like there’s this tremendous pressure so big that you just have the feeling that once you exit the restroom it’s going to be a huge relief? Then you get in there and all it turned out to be was one lousy fart and there’s nothing else coming? Sorry, that was probably still too much information.
I was at a movie theater waiting for a friend who was using the bathroom, then I looked over at how many other guys there were waiting for either girlfriends or female friends to come out. I started laughing. I think my favorite part of this strip are the guys holding purses.
I don’t think it’s too much information to reveal that this is a true story. I was in the bathroom stall, and sometimes I can wait out the other person if they’re quick, but then I heard the page turn. That’s when you realize that you need to get out of there as soon as possible, because it could very well be one of those people who uses the bathroom as their excuse to be away from work for extended periods of time.I read in an interview once that Marilyn Manson can’t use a bathroom if there’s someone next to him.
Seriously, if bathroom stalls were soundproof booths and no one felt self conscious, imagine how much faster the whole process would move along. I don’t even like to go if there’s someone in the stall next to me. Maybe if things are going all right and I’m sure I’m not going to have some kind of crazy explosion then I’ll go, but otherwise I’ll just wait it out.
I always say that the bathroom is the quietest place you can ever be. People don’t want to make a single noise which makes any resulting noise that much more traumatic. I once asked a friend of mine who’s a girl (don’t you hate that there’s no girl equivalent for the word “guyfriend?”) why the hell girls take so long when they go to the bathroom. One of the reasons she cited was that girls talk when they go to the bathroom. I thought she meant in front of the mirror, but she said that it happened when they were in the stalls. Guys walk in, walk out, not a single word. I can’t imagine holding a conversation while all of that is going on, that’s just weird.
This is a problem I face whenever I use the urinal. I tend to be gassy on both ends, but it’s obviously easier to suppress it if it’s coming out of my mouth. I think I inherited this trait from my dad except he doesn’t burp loudly like I do. I’m fortunate enough to have some friends who applaud this sort of thing, because it’s very liberating to not have to worry about this sort of thing. Sometimes you can think that you’re doing so well to let out a fart silently, when it turns out that maybe it had more pressure than you originally thought. Then you let your guard down and get too overconfident which leads to bad things. The real question is this: If you know you’re going to be making embarrassing sounds is it better or worse to know the person that you’re sharing the bathroom with and vice versa?
The lowbrow toilet humor strips tend to be the majority of the few comics of my own that I laugh out loud at. I only laugh at maybe 1% or 2% of my strips. I would like to think that those comics must be exceptionally funny, but that probably isn’t necessarily the case. I think it’s good that I don’t laugh at most of them, because fewer things are less funny than a guy who laughs at his own jokes.
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