The day I figured out I was lactose intolerant was a good day in that I was able to end the occasional mysterious morning stomach aches that I would get. However, it was also sad as there were a number of snacks that I would only enjoy with a nice glass of milk (plus cereal of course). I like peanut butter sandwiches and nutella is the condiment of the gods, but I don’t really eat those anymore. Lactaid pills are okay but don’t always work that well, and for some reason they put more sugar into Lactaid milk making it just not taste all that good.

When I was visiting my sister who at the time lived in Seattle I learned about this milk which has acidophilus which is a bacteria in yogurt. Basically it was regular milk I could drink with no side effects and it tasted great. Tragically this milk doesn’t exist in New York. So when I saw a regular milk carton that says “100% Lactose Free!” The fact that it’s skim is just a smack in the face. ‘Cause if you know me or read this comic regularly, you know how I feel about food which takes out the unhealthy junk that makes it taste good. This includes, but is not limited to: skim milk, Tasti-D-Lite, lowfat Smartfood popcorn and diet Snapple. Bleah. To think there are people who eat low fat microwaved meals, frozen vegetables, diet snapple and skim milk all the time. That’s borderline abuse in my book.