So I saw Snakes on a Plane last night. How does one begin to write about something like this? First time I heard there was internet hype being built up about this movie I thought that was kind of funny, but then settled into my viewpoint that the entire thing is just retarded, if anything, because it tells the legions of fanboys on the internet that their voice has sway in the industry if the right people hear. The idea that a bunch of stupid jerky adolescent fanboys have any sort of influence is kind of depressing to me. This is why going into the film I was hoping it would be plain bad bad so that it wouldn’t have any redeemable cult value once the hype was over. Though at the same time, since I was spending my $12.50 (advanced ticket costs) on this movie I wanted a good movie experience. I left partially satisfied, but only time will tell if the voices of the fanboys will be heard or not.

Since I saw the 10:00pm screening on Thursday that meant that I was with the hardest of the nerdiest of the core, and this is really the only way to see it. By the time you read this it could very well be too late for you to watch this film in the only way you could conceivably enjoy it. I say this because the movie really wasn’t anything special and only the audience reaction partially redeemed it. Anything less than this crazy crowd and it just would’ve been watching a bad horror movie. The crowd was very rowdy, just about as crazy as it ever gets. I pitied the people trying to give away free stuff with their trivia contest because the crowd wasn’t in the mood to raise their hands and answer in an organized fashion.

Cheers were given pretty much any time you saw Samuel L. Jackson and in the first third, whenever you saw snakes or a plane. Once the snakes entered the picture people cheered during the big snake attacking moments and stuff. Plus during the slower dialogue scenes the audience would join together in hissing at the screen either out of boredom or in anticipation of an impending snake attack.

So how was the movie? A shade worse than bad because not only was it bad it was just cliché. Without Samuel L. Jackson there to deliver lines in that way where anything he says is awesome, this would’ve been direct to video Dimension Films schlock that didn’t get advanced screenings and left theaters after a couple weeks if that. (Though admittedly, there’s still time for the last part of that sentence to come true). Cult films really need a lot of good moments that keep you coming back watching them again and again for more. This film’s one moment like that was the now infamous line “I’m tired of all these mutherfucking snakes on this mutherfucking plane!” (Which by the way was completely inaudible over the audience saying it along with the movie). Aside from that moment all the snake kill and attack moments were overly predictable, cliché and just not that exciting.

For this to have been more successful as a B horrr movie it needed to play with the audience more and just be more campy. It was my hope that the famous line would’ve been preceded by something with the snakes so crazy that saying that line would be really satisfying, but it was just kind of there. The movie was just too by the numbers and cliche to be very memorable beyond the hype. It didn’t have those moments like the lawnmower scene in Brain Dead or Ash fighting the deadite at S-Mart in the original ending of Army of Darkness. People I think were cheering almost because they were obligated to.

There weren’t even any amazing sort of scenes where Samuel L. Jackson just goes NUTS on some snakes ripping them apart or something like that. I think it needed to be more over the top and less serious. Plus this music video that was over the ending credits was REALLY BAD. Dude, terrible.

Best part of the night was when the Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel trailer came on and there was a shot of birds flying and someone in the audience yelled out “NOT BIRDS! SNAKES!!!”