I apologize in advance to the person who is the reason I initially went here, because I know at some point she read my comic and that this is her favorite restaurant in the city (no, not an ex-girlfriend if that’s what you’re wondering). But I’m going to be very honest here, this place was absolute crap on so many levels. I’m against eating in the Times Square area in general (except for Sapporo which has good Japanese ramen noodles). Other than that, if I’m caught in this area late at night with a friend we’ll usually take the subway down below 14th street in order to find something to eat.

Since I grew up eating really good home cooked Chinese food basically every day of my life of course I’m going to be a snob about it. Though I don’t think I even have to be a food snob to say that this place sucks. It’s an “Asian Fusion” restaurant which is a term that prompts automatic eye rolls from me. The only food I’ve had that could be considered Asian Fusion which was good was Iron Chef Morimoto’s restaurant in Philadelphia. Other than that, it’s been my experience that Asian Fusion restaurants are typically restaurants in uptown New York which offer foods from different Asian countries.

Since I’m talking about Ruby Foos here I’ll briefly go over their menu. Their appetizers are typical dim sum sort of things like dumplings and egg rolls which is fine, except the lowest price is SIX DOLLARS!!! Dim sum is supposed to be dirt cheap and you can usually stuff yourself silly for $10/person or less. Plus their “Blond miso soup” is also SIX DOLLARS!!! Last I checked miso soup was about $1.50 or $2.00 at a good Japanese restaurant. Their maki rolls start at $8.00, anyone who’s had sushi knows maki usually starts at $3.50. Skipping down to the entrees first thing I see is a hong kong pan fried noodle dish with jumbo shrimp for TWENTY DOLLARS!!! Excuse me? Oh no wait, I was wrong, it’s not hong kong pan friend noodles, it’s “hong kong” pan friend noodles. Don’t know what the quotation marks are for, are they confessing their lack of authenticity? Again, noodle and rice dishes are supposed to be the cheapest foods on a menu. Their chicken-pineapple fried rice is $10, and considered a Side dish.

Looking at this menu it’s actually ten times worse than I remember it being. I just remember not getting much food for a lot of money and recognizing every dish from other better, cheaper restaurants in Chinatown. The other terrible Asian restaurant I went to uptown with my family I don’t remember, but what I do remember is that we were charged for our tea. Dude, who the hell charges for tea?

So yes, it is my extremely biased and snobby opinion that Asian Fusion restaurants are for touristy whitebread people too scared of the possibility that their waiter might not speak very good English or that their eating environment might bring them a little too close to the ingredients that are in their food. But you know what? That’s fine, they can have it, that way they stay out of the restaurants I like and I don’t have to be near them.