I was at my Mexican takeout place when I saw the guy refilling the chopped tomatoes and vegetables with one of those large plastic containers you see guys on the subway playing drums on. The general rule of thumb I follow is that things in large quantities that aren’t regularly seen in large quantities are either hilarious or horrifying. A huge price club container of gefilte fish is hilarious. A huge barrel of chopped tomatoes is kind of disgusting.

They don’t have a meat faucet at my Mexican restaurant, but I learned recently that Taco Bell has a meat faucet. I don’t ever want to see this device in action.