Wherever I am whether it’s on an escalator, in the subway, going through a turnstile or in a grocery store aisle I always like to keep the line moving, because I know how irritating it is when it’s not. It might seem silly, but I actually feel some pressure when I’m trying to gather all the stupid plastic loops on the grocery bags so that I can leave the grocery store. Perhaps technically I don’t need to be holding ALL of them, but I guess it’s a bit of a compulsive sort of thing that I have. Plus sometimes you think you’ve grabbed one when in actuality you haven’t.

I had the almost worst case scenario with this yesterday (I say almost because things can always be worse in some way if you just have the imagination for it). I went to a Key Food to get drinks and some chicken. I was carrying my gym bag and my mammoth obnoxious umbrella. Keeping the bag from sliding off my shoulder is annoying, but holding a shopping basket along with my umbrella on my shoulder is something of a chore, especially when going through narrow aisles past other shoppers.

So I made it out of the Key Food with two bags, one with the drinks and the other with the non-drinks. I never understand putting all the heavy items in one bag, it makes no sense to me. Of course both bags are actually double bagged so there are four loops for each one. I get out of the supermarket and switch both bags to one making it very heavy as I struggle to open my umbrella in the torrential rain, of course there’s copious amounts of wind so I’m worried that my umbrella is going to blow away or get horribly mutilated since the big ones don’t simply turn inside out.

Then I went to the fruit and vegetable store and got one more double bag with veggies and stuff. The rain has stopped somewhat but I now have three bags to hold, an umbrella and a gym bag. What I usually do here is put the two lighter bags onto the umbrella hook and hold the drinks in the free arm. This always seems like a clever idea in theory, but the fact that I have to hold the umbrella hook up in front of me almost negates the lightness of the other bags.

And thus a sort of dance is formed as I struggle to switch arms every few feet as one arm gets tired, but really, they’re both getting tired, just to varying degrees.

I hate the plastic loops, but I use these bags as my garbage bags so it wouldn’t be ideal to get paper even if it did have handles.