I was at the book signing Seth Macfarlane and Steve Callaghan (one of the head writers of Family Guy) in front of these two high school students. They were talking about video games, and one in particular was talking about them in a way that I really wanted to slap him. If you can have a stiff upper lip about video games then this would’ve been it. He was talking in a snooty kind of tone about how disappointed he was in Halo 2 overall. Then they shared the following dialogue about Doom III:

Person A: I dunno, I think the gameplay was just too simplistic

Person B: You mean simple?

Person A: Yeah

Okay, the absurdity of that conversation aside, IT’S FREAKIN’ DOOM!! What the hell were you expecting from the sequel to a game that is the crown example of mindless killing in a game? If you were really a gamer who felt they could talk about games with that kind of attitude you should know that ID Software makes great game engines and okay games, but then people take the engine and make better games!

Then someone called asking for help with a Zelda game. I really hope it was his sister and not his girlfriend, because it would just be too cruel a world for this guy to have a girlfriend and for me to not. It wasn’t the Zelda game I’m referencing here, but this is one I know like the back of my hand which is why I used it for my comic.

For bonus points, what is the final objective of this particular dungeon and how many extra keys can you gain through the method described above?