My friend has a really bad roach problem in this one apartment. What his roaches lacked in size they made up for in quantity. Plus he had some vermin living in his bottom drawer of his bureau, as evidenced by the copious amounts of mouse poo. It got so bad that he would be in the shower and look over to see a small roach on his leg, they were always around his cat’s food and crawling around his sink. One day he opened one of his DVDs to find a family of roaches inside of it. He didn’t toss it out the window but what he did do was drop the case and yell “I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!” There were a couple more like that, but he didn’t have the courage to go through the entire collection. A houseguest he had happily obliged as partial payment.

Of course despite all this the exterminator still thought his roach problem was nothing much. I don’t want their eyes.


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