This is a conversation I have with one of my sisters a lot, because she likes to talk about the time when she was at the movies and she asked for a small and they said “You mean child-sized?” I refuse to relent to these ridiculous size naming conventions of various different stores. I think my favorite depiction of this is in Seinfeld where Elaine is at the movie theater and “Medium” is the name of the smallest size and they go in a back and forth where she’s trying to explain she wants the smallest size. At some point it just becomes a “Who’s on first, What’s on second…” kind of situation.

I think Wendy’s wins for being just plain illogical. They’re the ones whose small size is “Biggie” and their medium is just medium. I realize that no one wants to say “small” because people want to think that they’re getting extra value from their purchase. But is it more that people want to think that they’re getting more, or that the people selling you the product want you to think you’re getting more? I personally don’t care, because I just get the size I know I can finish. When they ask me if I want biggie size I just want to call out on them that the small is the biggie sized.

In Japan, all sizes are small.