Shaolin Soccer got shat on by Miramax so hard it’s amazing it came out at all. The weirdest thing is that not only was it shorter than the Hong Kong cut, but they put a scene back in which on the Hong Kong DVD is an extra feature (the Thriller dance number). I ended up seeing it at the AMC theater in Times Square but I would’ve gone to the Sunshine if I had known it was going to be playing in the smallest theater on the top floor of the theater. It was so insultingly pathetic. I could’ve sworn the movie was played in mono, when just watching the DVD from Chinatown you can tell that there are a lot of surround sound moments.

They could’ve opened the movie in more theaters if they didn’t spend so much money dubbing, redubbing, cutting, recutting and testing each version. They say that testing is one of the most expensive parts of advertising. I’d like to know the exact statistics of how much it costs to go through all of that.