When I worked at my parent’s video store there was a lot of downtime, and there were only so many times I could check everything was in alphabetical order. Most of the time when I wasn’t doing anything I felt guilty, but occasionally when I had time to burn I tended to make lists.

One of them was the list of films that got a “Two Thumbs Up!” despite being really crappy movies. One was Speed 2, and I think another was the live action version of “Spawn” which was horrendous. My other favorites were for the Under Siege films. One said “It’s ‘Die Hard’ on a boat!” Whereas the sequel said “It’s ‘Die Hard’ on a train!” Gag.

It’s incredibly the lengths movie executives will go to in order to rationalize the poor performance of a film, anything but the fact the film sucked. They just don’t want to admit to spending the millions of dollars on something that turned out so crappy.


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