This is half true because I never went to the big huge ginormous NYU graduation that takes place in the park. It’s a tradition to jump into the fountain afterwards if it’s warm enough and you’re crazy. I’ve done that once before during a particularly scorching day my freshman year of college. The things I remember were running and running, WATER then I emerged. Aside from the wet underwear it was very refreshing.

If this were a rendition of my actual graduation, the people going “YAY” would be the drama students and the main character would be the film students. It’s hilarious the contrast between the two. The drama professor goes up like a football coach working them up, and they were louder than all the other Tisch students combined. Gag, these are the people who probably thought high school was one of the best times of their life.

The other thing in here that’s true is the graduation robes aren’t safe to get wet which was very considerately written in TINY print on the bag they came in. I didn’t discover this by getting mine wet, but rather I heard stories about at time at the graduation in the park when it started raining and people discovered later the nice clothes they wore were now covered in bits of purple. If this is the case then why did we pay so much god damn money to RENT them? If they’re so crappy to begin with then what are they going to do? Wash them? I never returned mine and as far as I know was never fined.